GARGANTUAN steps

Friday, August 13, 2021

letters to a second son - once again

My dearest Daniel~

Happy 1st birthday to you! If your older brother's first year of life passed by in the blink of an eye, then in comparison, the last year has been faster than the speed of light. Truth be told, we were more prepared as parents this time round, more relaxed, and more adept. Your mummy was having some false labour pains a day or two before your birth, but she was barely on leave before you came out! I think she brought your brother to the park the evening before your birth, had some weird sensations, and then we decided to head to the hospital once I came back from work. I believe your delivery was less sensational than that of your brother's, without your mummy having to have additional epidurals, and we deciding to forgo the EMLA cream this time. Everything progressed very smoothly, and though we were hoping you'd come out before midnight, it was not to be! And so you were born on 13th August 2020 at 4:31, on a Thursday morning. Out of habit, I asked for the APGAR score and you definitely scored full marks there. I even got to cut the umbilical cord for you this time, something I never got the chance to do previously (as I was too engrossed with taking these priceless moments).

The moment when you first arrived into this world, kicking and screaming

A minute after you were born - I was unable to capture the exact time, so this will have to do!

They do say that a spoilt clock gets the time right twice a day, but we weren't in this room following your delivery so I never got a second chance.

You weighed a healthy 2.874 kg. Just under 3 kg - a weight your mummy is well pleased with.

Our first family photo, shy of your older brother, once the dust had settled

With 公公 and 婆婆

With 爷爷 and 奶奶

With our obstetrician who delivered you, impeccably dressed - Dr Manisha

Your mummy definitely preferred her to the last one she had

Your kor kor Nathan, couldn't wait to see you - and here's him lovingly welcoming you home!

It was a life changing experience for him too - all the attention previously focused on him was no longer to be so.

With your kor kor Raphael, uncle Ben and aunty Lynette

You are born Yan Zhikang Daniel, and we kept to an Old Testament prophet for your Christian name (in the footsteps of your brother). Daniel, of course, has a more famous biblical story than Nathan. He is the prophet who, famously, was not eaten by the lions when he disobeyed the laws of the kingdom to worship his own God. The name 'Daniel' itself means 'God is my judge', and this is a reminder for you to always live your life in the ways guided by the Lord, and not be swayed by the whims and fancies of this world. Your Chinese name is Yan Zhikang, 严至慷, with 严 being your surname/family name, and it means 'strict'; 至 being the shared middle name with your brother Nathan and older cousin Raphael, meaning 'towards'; and 慷 being your last name, and it means 'generous' or 'magnanimous', and we hope you will always live up to your namesake! Your brother's name is 严至仁, with 仁 (ren) meaning 'benevolent'; and your older cousin's name is 严至恩, with 恩 (en) meaning 'grace'. And I hope that the three of you will grow up to be as close as can be, supporting one another through all times, just the way my brother and I have each other's back, and same for your mummy and her siblings as well!

Similar to your brother, you were jaundiced in the first few days of life, but made worse because of ABO-incompatibility - your blood type is B+ (same as me), but your mummy's is O+, and so this compounds your neonatal jaundice. Unfortunately, you had to be admitted to hospital for phototherapy in your first few days of life - thankfully it only lasted a night - and you were home safe and sound the very next day. Admittedly, your parents, especially your mummy, see these things regularly at work, and it wasn't too particularly anxious a period of time!

Your admission name tag

Undergoing single-blue, as they call it!

All this phototherapy was just so that you would look just right for your photoshoot. Your brother was a model for his, and so we couldn't let you get away without one. We did this at home this time, and there was no hiccups this time! You are quite a cooperative baby, and a smiley one too, I must say!

Sleeping peacefully with your brother faithfully watching over

Peace and quiet

You were mostly a good boy, and you barely peed on me, but you did have not one, but two episodes of explosive diarrhoea of which I was the sole target for destruction! Here's one episode captured.

Up for a fight at one month's old

I always jest that having a second kid i.e. you, is like having cleared my final examinations, and then having to take them again! There were the nights with endless wakes and cries and feeds, and the struggles of putting you to bed, and the sleep deprivation to endure once again, this time in older, more worn out bodies, juggling with the day to day of work. Coupled with an active brother to occupy and entertain as well, these were definitely trying times. And I also always jest that I couldn't for you and your brother to turn 21 years old so you could all finally move out, but I believe parents never really truly wish for their kids to move out. Anyway, it was all in a day's work, and as tough as some of these times were, it was still a joy to see you each day and see you smile! You are definitely more smiley than your brother, as the following photos will show!

With Elmo at 2 months old

Your first Christmas!

Sitting up at 9 months old

Other than your neonatal jaundice for which you required phototherapy, you too also have a lot of allergies, causing a lot of grief to your mummy! Amongst your many allergies include - cow's milk protein, egg and nuts. You developed a bad generalised rash all around your body when you consumed those, and you were exceptionally fretful! And we had to send you to test for antibodies to particular allergens, and then avoid those ones you strongly reacted to. Unfortunately, this means that there are quite a significant number of foods that you can't consume, and you sure are missing out on some good food. Also, your mummy can't wean you off her breast milk - just yet. Hopefully you'll outgrow these allergies and then you can truly enjoy your food. You are quite the foodie too, like your older brother!

Rashing out after consuming some nuts

And here are some family photos that we have accumulated over the year, celebrating the many special occasions. Most unfortunately, because of COVID-19, we have mainly been house-bound and quite unable to go out and celebrate in big groups, or have big groups over to celebrate birthdays. Let's hope this pandemic ends soon, or at least, the restrictions associated to this pandemic, as we soon ease towards endemicity.

Celebrating your brother's 3rd birthday!

First Christmas as a family!

You were baptised on 2nd January, 2021, together with all our community friend's children on that same day. We chose your 小姨 to be your godmother and it was very proud day for us, the day you formally entered into God's family!

Officially a child of God on 2nd January 2021

Family photo at Church of the Holy Family

At the nativity scene!

Celebrating your papa and kor kor Raphael's birthday, which are close together in February!

Celebrating Chinese New Year - the Year of the Ox. You were born in the Year of the Rat (same as papa, although I'm the tail of the rat; and you're probably the body)

Hugged by your kor kor Raphael and with your kor kor Nathan beside!

With your uncle Ben and aunty Lynette!

The grandchildren with 爷爷 and 奶奶

With your 公公 and 婆婆 together with 小姨 and a rare appearance by your 舅舅 who works overseas!

Celebrating your mummy's birthday, which is just a few days before yours!

Here are some photos of you and your brother. Your mummy and I do hope that you will grow up together and have lots of fun together always, and learn from one another, be inspired by one another, and always have each other's backs no matter what, especially since blood is thicker than water. It does fill me with a lot of joy seeing these photos of you two together and I am sure you'll have many fond memories looking back, when you finally get to read this letter from me.

I myself am a younger brother too, and it does come with its perks, including having someone to always look out for you, to lead the way forward for you to just follow suit. It does add a lot of pressure as well when your older sibling does particularly well. You will have a lot of expectations that you'll heap upon yourself, whether knowingly or unknowingly. And at times, you'll be known as 'Nathan's brother', as opposed to being just known for who you are, 'Daniel'! But it's alright. Just know that your papa has been through it all, and he has made his own path, and everything has turned out fine! And I have a very good relationship with my brother still, and he continues to look out for me, and I really do hope that you'll get to experience the same kinship that I have experienced myself.

As your mummy says - don't know whether to laugh or cry seeing this.

Your brother looking at you tenderly

You are your brother's first patient!

Twin shirts!

Celebrating Christmas together

In your respective car seats in Duku Road

Having fun in your blow-up swimming pool!

You were really entertained by your brother jumping about!

And monkeying about as well!

Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, we couldn't really do much travelling, so we travelled about Singapore instead! Not that I think you'd have known where we were or what we were seeing, but it was still nice to be able to head out as a family. We even managed a staycation as well, though it was a night where you and your brother took turns to wake up and cry and we ended really sleepy the next day.